楚国之门

高情商者的十大习惯(译)

####1. Label their feelings, rather than labelling people or situations. “I feel impatient.” vs. “This is ridiculous”

“I feel hurt and bitter”. vs. “You are an insensitive jerk.”

“I feel afraid.” vs. “You are driving like a idiot.”

说出对他人的感受要比指责别人的身份地位要好

我等不及了 vs 这太搞笑了

我感觉很受伤和痛苦 vs 你是一个超级大笨蛋

我有点害怕 vs 你就是一个大傻瓜

####2. Distinguish between thoughts and feelings. Thoughts: I feel like…& I feel as if…. & I feel that

Feelings: I feel: (feeling word)

能够区分想法和感受

想法：我觉得好像…，我感觉好像…，我感觉像…

感受：我感到…

####3. Take responsibility for their feelings. “I feel jealous.” vs. “You are making me jealous”’

对别人的感受要有责任感，不要太直接

我有点吃醋 vs 你让我吃醋了

####4. Use their feelings to help them make decisions. “How will I feel if I do this?” “How will I feel if I don’t”

用别人的感受帮他们做决定

如果我做了，能怎么样呢 vs 如果我不做，结论又如何呢？

####5. Show respect for other people’s feeling. They ask “How will you feel if I do this?” “How Will you feel if I don’t.”

尊重他人的感受

他们问：“如果我做了，你感觉会怎么样？” vs “如果我不做，你又能怎么样？”

####6. Feel energized, not angry. They use what others call “anger” to help them feel energized to take productive action.

保持青春活力，不要经常生气

他们用愤怒的方式帮助别人感受活力，以此带动生产。

####7. Validate other people’s feelings. They show empathy, understanding, and acceptance of other people’s feelings.

会验证别人的感受

要会换位思考，理解和接受他人的感受

####8. Practice getting a positive value from their negative emotions. They ask themselves: “How do I feel?” and “What would help me feel better?”

They ask others “How do you feel?” and “What would help you feel better?”

能从别人消极的情感中获取积极的价值

他们问自己 “我感觉如何？” vs “什么帮助我感觉更好”

他们问别人“你感觉如何” vs “什么让能帮你感受更好”

####9. Don’t advise, command, control, criticize, judge or lecture to other. They realize it doesn’t feel good to be on the receiving end of such behavior, so they avoid it.

不要建议，命令，控制，批评，决定和教导别人

他们意识到让别人接受这些行为感觉不太好，因此避免使用

####10. Avoid people who invalidate them, or don’t respect their feelings. As much as possible, they choose to associate only with bother people with high EQ.

避免与低智商的人相处，但要尊重他们的感受

尽一切可能，他们选择与高智商的人相处

参考：http://peterfox.com.au/mind_emotional_intelligence.htm